Sometimes I feel so Alone: discoveries of life

Yeah.. can't remember the song that's from specifically... Don't know most of the words, either. It's one someone gave me to listen to. =o)

• A brief recap of recent events: I went and did a miserable geography lab yesterday on the beach in the miserable wet, wet, windy, wet weather, with a low-grade fever, to boot (mom said I'd shrink if I got much more water-logged); I had my second midterm for Biology today, which I didn't even wind up getting finished with all the reading for... which was bad, considering I missed a lot of lectures; I put in an english assignment 3 days late on thursday, and then promptly forgot about the lecture report that was due yesterday.. I'll have to write that up quickly; I have 2 midterms on friday (scary psyc, and happy chem)--and a lab, eeps, tomorrow; I've discovered the meaning of the word 'depression'; I still have not gotten up a lot of my thoughts here; I haven't been doing a lot of my daily reading; I'm thinking about the travel agent business with longing; Mom and I are taking steps toward possibly re-evaluating what I should be doing (translation, I might not wind up going to university for much longer/I might try getting into the arts program); I wish I could discuss thoughts more; I wish people took me seriously; I wish I took me seriously; I'm feeling uninteresting; I think that's most of the recent news.


• A lot of Essie's thoughts really hit home today, especially the McLaughlan one (orhoweveryouspellit)


• In general, I feel like life is passing me by, and no one's waiting. I feel like I'm in an interesting state with pretty well all of my friends... I guess everyone's changing.


• Apparently I should get out and do more here at uvic... be involved in clubs and such, perhaps... volunteer, for sure. But I don't feel I have the time/energy to be involved.


• Another side to that, is that it takes energy to make new friends, and that's energy I don't feel I have, I would rather extend myself to develop the friendships I have, but as I said.. everything's changing.


• I've discovered something interesting... I have an easier time developing casual relationships with guys, but as for deep friends, I have more girls with that. (which is a good thing!)


• ....Maybe that's because I don't feel the need to compete in the same way with guys.
  
• I've discovered I'm quite competitive.


• I've discovered I can be quite jealous.(of girls and guys alike--for different reasons...including just having a "spotlight" I wish I had)


• Against all previous thought and rationalizing, I'm not a nice person.

And now that I've thouroughly depressed you all... I need to run, otherwise I won't get to sit next to Adam in Chem, so I can ask for the notes of the class I missed.

bye... may God bless you all.