i am in vis i ble

therefore no one will comment

therefore no one is there

therefore no one will see this

therefore.

knock, knock? anyone there? am i here?
am i a person? am i here? am i your friend...?

it's only the dumb posts or the posts that are totally self-pitying/completely depressed that get comments. the only comments on my good posts are either just very general or maybe (once or twice perhaps? no more.) sincere, but then a conversation in the comment box degrades them. thanks guys

except now you'll all want to prove you comment. or you'll feel guilty for not commenting. or talking to me. so you'll comment. or maybe you'll read this and think you shouldn't comment. catch twenty two, eh?
gotta love those catches.

if you want to know what to do for me, look at what i try to do for you. i honestly do my best to think of what i would like someone to do for me in the same situation. and then i do it. at least i try. and i do try. and i succeed more these days.
there's a post in my head about discovering how the fact that giving from yourself (as in a friendship) isn't giving if you expect something back. that's buying, then. but i'll tell you right now, it's bloody rotten to keep giving and not get support until you've already fallen. until you're already battered and bruised and on your way back up again.


my life revolves around friends that i've never met and who are not you. thrilling, eh?

at least i get better at html.

poor sarah
poor sari

i'm fine of course. how could i be otherwise. in fact, i'm doing better than ever. that's what people tell me.
but i'm not good enough. always doing something wrong. that's sari.

jesus? you mean it's not a cuss word? no one tells me that anymore. i don't get encouragement. so i'm getting baptized, and i should be at the high point of my life. so. so. so what?

(can we say bitter? probably.)

sari gets to be wish on a star now
so there.